King Bowser the Space Pirate
by Coolpidgeonbro
Summary: King Bowser and the koopalings except for Lemmy are space pirates who plunder space of booty, when one day they come across the Mushroom Kingdom and accidentally kidnap a princess. And so Mario and his friends set off to rescue the princess, but will they succeed? Loosely based off of Super Marios Momotaro.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time lived a king. His name was King Bowser Koopa. The Space Pirate. Bowser woke in his bed, yawning and stretching his arms. Then he went back to sleep for a while. A few hours later he woke up again. "Man i gotta get up already" he said, then slept a few more hours. "UGH" Bowser ughed as he woke up again. He set down his clawy feet on the ground, his feet hurt like they always do when you put them down for the first time for the day, he also got really dizzy, like really he began to lose his vision and everything and almost fell unconcious for a while. Almost. "Time to plunder the space i guess"

'

"Holy shit where have you been weve been waiting here for like 5 hours what the fuck you always do this just tell us to come later oh my god" Ludwig von Koopa said.

"I'm sorry" Bowser apologized.

"Its fine but from now on were coming 12 instead of 7 so if were ever not here when you wanna plunder space know its your own fault god" Ludwig said.

"I'm sorry that sounds good. So can we go plunder the space now" Bowser asked.

"k"

_'_

Bowser laughed as he and the koopalings except for Lemmy stole all the treasure from the poor defensless Lumas and space goombas. They cried as the crooks exited their planets atmosphere.

"Wow lumas and space goombas are broke as hell" Iggy said rumaging through the few stolen goods they had in their bag.

"Yeah thanks to us they probably wont be able to pay their rent or taxes and theyll be thrown out on the space streets, they didnt have much to eat before we stole it theyll probably starve to death now, i just hope most of them dont have families." Morton added.

This made Bowser feel very guilty. "Ok fine were turning around" he said.

"No one said we had to turn around" Ludwig pointed out.

"WERE TURNING AROUND" Bowser quickly corrected him, he hoped no one noticed but they did notice he was crying a little and it was pretty awkward. So they flew back to the lumas and space goombas and they gave everyone their stuff back and apologized, the Lumas and space goombas were very happy and greatful.

"Good luck with fixing the economy!" Bowser saluted as they left the planet again. "Ok i know that didnt go as expected but theres tons of space we can plunder!" Bowser admitted and pointed to a planet. "Like that one!" The 7 turtles in space zoomed towards it on their space scooters, hungry for booty.

'

"Hello, hello my dear mushroom peeps!" Princess Peach Toadstool exclaimed from her veranda.

"Peach time" the mushroom peeps replied.

"AHAHAHAHAHA" Bowser laughed. "Go children!"

And the children went. The koopalings jumped off of the space scooters and down on the princess' veranda, they screamed and jumped on one leg from the pain in their feet the landing brought, except for Larry who was hella parkour and knew youre supposed to roll to minimize damage. Nice

"Give us the booty!" Larry yelled as his siblings tried to ignore their pain.

"uh how old are you" Princess Peach asked. "Either way too young and my booty isnt for sale"

"Well- fuckingshi- Well were taking it anyway!" Morton exclaimed having recovered from the footpain, "The treasure i mean not your ass thats your ass and we have no right to do anything to it without your consent i spoke before i thought im so so sorry" he corrected himself.

"Oh good but No i wont let you have my treasure either!" Peach said.

Larry yelled as he ran flailing towards her. Princess Peach immediately stopped him and picked him up however. "whose idea was it to hire kids instead of real soldiers what the fu-frick"

But Larry was too smart for the princess, "NOW, MY SIBLINGS! SHE ONLY HAS SO MANY ARMS! ATTACK!" he yelled. And his siblings obeyed, they ran towards Peach, screaming, Iggy was confused and scared though, they only did it because everyone else did they hoped they wouldnt have to do anything after that and it would solve itself. Thankfully it did and Morton and Roy picked the princess up and brought her over to Bowser while the rest went to loot some stuff.

"here hold this for a sec" Roy said handing over the princess to Bowser and flying back with his brother to help the loot.

"Oh uh um... Hi i guess" Bowser said nervously.

"what even are you people youre like really mutated turtles or some other reptile what the fu-FRICK" the Princess questioned.

"Wow thats rude, everybody is beautiful, KOOPAS btw too, dont you try to make these children ashamed of their bodies!" Bowser said angrily.

"Sorry i didnt mean it like that" Peach apologized.

"Its fine you dont have to apologize." A long silence occured after that, like half a minute of silence, until it was broken by Bowsers yell, "OH NO I FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE OVEN!"

"AND!?" Ludwig yelled over to his boss.

"AND FIRE SAFETY IS IMPORTANT, LUDWIG!" Bowser replied, "HOLD ON KEEP TAKING THEIR STUFF I GOTTA GO HOME AND TURN IT OFF, YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO CAREFUL WITH FIRE!" he continued and flew off.

"What the fuck" one of the mushroom peeps said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: **Confessions

* * *

"THANK GOD" Bowser said, turning off the oven. "That could've ended horribly"

"Youd think a fire breathing turtle monarch in a land where like everything is on fire wouldnt be so scared of fire" Larry said.

"HOLY HECK LArry how did you get here what" Bow

"Well like the princess never really put me down again, and i mean she kind of coulndt after you began holding her so she just sort of held me until we got back to the castle. I didn't say anything because like id kind of prefer staying here and play video games like a normal kid rather than stealing heavy treasure and carrying it several lightyears." Larry explained.

"Oh Well, then go guard the princess."

"Yeah so uhm like you never really locked her up or anything in the first place in fact youre still holding her you might wanna go to a doctor and check up your senses "

No one said anything after that. Bowser just left again.

_'_

"Hey hows the plundering going" Bowser asked his koopa underlings as he landed on Princess Peachs veranda.

"WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING YOU TOLD THE ENTIRE KINGDOM WE WERE GONNA PLUNDER THEM FOR TREASURE THE GUARDS CAUGHT US AS SOON AS YOU LEFT !FUCK YOU! !" Ludwig yelled, fucking pissed, please cal m down..

"ok" Bowser responded. The guards immediatelly pointed their spears towards him.

"YOURE UNDER SPACE ARREST FOR THEFT AND KIDNAPPING! YOURE GOING TO **SPACE JAIL** ASSFACE!" screamed one of the guards.

"No my dear. You are under arrest. For stealing... my heart..." Bowser corrected them.

The guard gasped in surprise, flustered at the koopa kings romantic comment. "OH! M-my! I uh, I dont know what to say, I'll uh I'll have to think about this for a wh ile e-ex cuse mme!" they said and barged out of the room, blushing manically.

"HONEY WAIT!" Bowser shouted stretching his arm out for his love. One of the guards stepped forward and poked Bowsers chest angrily.

"If you break my little angels heart I'll beat ya face in with a shovel hear me punk" they said.

"Dont worry good mx, their heart is in good hands." Bowser responded.

"Oh, we have to prepare for the wedding!" another guard said with joy.

"... Oh, but what if they say no...?" Bowser nervously said.

"Who could say no to such a bara dragon furry as you, theres no chance theyll say no!" yet another guard encouraged.

"Oh, my..." Bowser blushed, "But it's still their decision and we have no right to pressure them."

"Oh this is wonderful! I can't believe somebody loves my little baby!" a guard said.

"I wish somebody loved me" Morton said.

"Morton its rude to interupt" Bowser said

"We have to celebrate!"

"Ill bake a cake!"

"Oh and Ill buy decorations!"

"And Ill spread the word!"

And all the tiny mushroom guards left the room, happy to prepare for the celebrations.

"Oh dear I hope my love doesnt feel pressured..." Bowser worried, and left yet again, closesly followed by the koopalings except for Lemmy.

The 7 space pirates zoomed through space for like an hour, which is a really short time for being in space, Wendy carrying a fucking huge sack of mostly trash some gold and stuff but mostly trash honestly Princess Peach accepted literally anything as tax payment so people just sent in whatever shit they could find so they could sleep under a roof for the night. She carried it with ease and grace because Wendy is a Goddess.

"Could you like put me down now" Peach asked

"OH MY GOD HOYL S`FRICK!" Bowser screamed and threw the princess, sending her flying through space at extreme speeds.

"wasnt she holding larry" Roy said.

"Shoot Ludwig go fetch the pretty pink princess and your brother uhm"

So Ludwig did

"We should probably give her back" Bowser said as he picked up Ludwig holding Peach holding Larry. Ludwig was uneased

"No were space pirates! We should keep her just because thats what the mushrooms wouldnt want! i guess" Iggy said.

"Yeah Yes you're right! besides i dont know the way back so" Bowser said even though he literally went to his castle and back Bowsers memory isnt that great not since the accident...

"I want to go home to my mushroom peeps tho" Princess Peach protested.

"Well soz you cant" Bowser said.

":/" Peach said. He has angered her

__'__

"In ye go" Bowser threw in peach in one of the dungeon cells, locking the door.

"seriously" Larry said, also in the cell because Peach was still holding him. Ludwig was also there since he was holding Peach, but he didnt say anything he just gave up

"Oh no I knew you were there but you must attone for you crimes sorry" Bowser responded.

"Oh, ok then." Larry said, "When am I free to go?"

"never" Bowser said and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: A hero is born**

* * *

Meanwhile, on another planet...

The couple sat on their bench under the stars. The storks message that it had fucking dropped two babies from the sky made the childless couple very depressed.

"Oh, why can't we ever have a child without them dying from fall damage...?" the man asked the stars. The stars did not respond. They are but exploding balls of gas lightyears away

"Maybe we should just give up..." his wife said.

"Maybe..." the man said. Suddenly, a star fell from the sky. The man stood up, refilled with hope. "Look! We can't give up yet!" he said, "Star, give us a child! GIVE US A CHILD STAR GIVE US A CHI"

For a while it looked like all hope was lost again. But then! A giant peach fell from the sky, and landed right before their feet! They couldve been crushed holy fuck

"HOLY FUCKING HSIT" the lady screamed. And then the peach exploded, reveiling two babies with a red and green hat respectively, but the red hat baby is more important.

"OK I GUESS UH THANKS STAR OH MY GOD" the man said in terror.

The woman picked one of the babies, which was covered in peach juice. "... What uh should we name them?" she said.

"Mario and Luigi"

"why th"

"look i promised our pizza guys id name our first borns after them ok shut up"

"ok"

The couple raised the children like they didnt just explode out of a giant peach from the sky. They took care of them and most importantly got childbenefits. Until one day...

"Mario do you have any homework for tomorrow?" Marios father asked.

"What no why do you keep asking me this everyday im like 26" Mario replied.

"Ok, how about I read you two a nice story?"

"... i mean like... ok" Mario and his brother agreed.

Their father sat down with a book and cleared his throat. "Long ago there was a mushroom princess. Her name was Peach Toadstool. One day, she was out on her veranda, greeting her mushroom peeps, when suddenly, 7 mutated turtles on space scooters flew in. It was the evil space pirate King Bowser and his koopalings except for Lemmy! King Bowser ordered the koopalings except for Lemmy to plunder the castle! But the princess was too selfless and caring to let them get past her, and she was attacked and taken captive. As the 7 freaks flew away into space and to their home planet, the mushroom peeps cried. In Bowsers cas"

"OH NO!" Mario screamed.

"WHAT THe fuck bro shit" Luigi said his eardrums were already punctured shit mario

Mario stood up rapidly, "WE HAVE TO SAVE HER!" he screamed.

"It's just a story dude chil"

"YOUR FACE IS JUST A STORY" Mario interupted his brother, "A TRAGIC ONE"

"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" their mother said. Luigi began to cry

"Luigi we have to save the princess!" Mario encouraged his younger brother. how is luigi even marios younger brother even in canon they were delivered at the same time. sure maybe they were born different times before they were delivered but like how do their parents know when their birthday is? actually how does anyone know when their kids birthday is? can the storks talk and tell them? you know what maybe they could i dont remember "Come with me to the mushroom kingdom and save Princess Peach!"

"fine who cares letsa go to space woo" Luigi responded.

_'_

"I'm so proud of you two..." Mario and Luigi's mother said. Their entire family had gathered to bid the brothers farewell.

"Thank you, mother..." Mario said with a tear in his eye.

"Mario... Green Mario..." their grandmother stepped forth, handing them both a machine gun each. "I want you to have these."

"Thanks grandma" Luigi said, accepting his gun and his fate

And so, the two set off on their journey.

"How are we even gonna get there we dont have the money to buy a space rocket"

"We'll find a way, I'm sure."

_'_

Mario put down his gun beside him. "Ah... You smell that luigi? That's the smell of livin it" Mario said, resting his head on a log under the starry sky.

"I'm fairly sure its just the smell of dirt dry plants and hungryness, but whatever you say bro" Luigi responded. He looked around the dry plains the brothers had found themselves in. "we didnt pack food did we"

"no"

"Why not!?"

"food is for nerds lmao"

"Exactly we need that food!" Luigi yelled, "Great. C'mon Mario we gotta go back fucking unbelievable"

"Hmm but i dont want to" Mario complained lazy plum

Luigi sighed. "Fine. We'll let the magic 8-ball decide." Luigi took up the magic 8-ball from his backpack. "O Great Magic 8-ball, should we go back to get food or not?" Luigi said and shook the magic orb.

"Most likely"

Luigi jumped with skadeglädje. "Aha! That settles it, lets go Mario!"

"Luigi wait! Look!" Mario shouted and pointed to something behind him. It was a space station.

"Oh my god."

The two entered the space station. It was very empty, no residents inside.

"Maybe they closed." Luigi said, "Afterall I doubt a spacestation in the middle of nowhere is particularly succesful"

"WATS THAT NOW!?" a voice was heard. Down from the second floor frontflipped two men, one short and fat and one tall and skinny. They sticked the landing perfectly and Mario and Luigi clapped in fact it was so graceful luigi began to cry.

"WAlcome to the WASA program!" the taller one greeted the two.

"Name's Wario! This is Waluigi!" the shorter one said. "Now, which WAn of you dare doubt the WASA program!?"

"Those are some very coincidental names you got, I'm Mario and this is my brother, Luigi." Mario said.

"did he just ignore my question oh my gSO WAt brings you two here!?" Wario asked.

"We're gonna resque Peach Toadstool, princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, from the evil space pirate King Bowser Koopa!" Mario enthusiastically said.

"WAA!?" Wario and Waluigi gasped in unison.

"THAT Peach Toadstool!?" Waluigi asked surprised.

"yeah" Luigi said much less enthusiastically cmon luigi

"From THAT Bowser Koopa!?"

"Yeah!" Mario said.

The WASA workers looked at eachother and smiled. "WAll then looks like you'll need to get into space huh!?"

"Yeah?"

"WAHAHA then do WAEuh have the deal for YOU!"

Mario and Luigi looked at eachother.

"See there needs to be a minimum of 4 people on the space ship legally" Waluigi said. "You need a ship, we need two more passangers, see WAre im getting at?"

"are you suggesting we go on the wasa ship" Luigi said.

"ye"

Mario and Luigi looked at eachother again. "well like sure whatever" Luigi agreed.

"WAA!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

Meanwhile at Bowsers castle, Peach braided Bowsers hair, however you braid a mohawk.

"Cause I mean like who doesnt like charizard? He was like the first pokemon most of us ever had! And c'mon its a dragon! A freaking dragon! And it's shiny, a black and red dragon! That's just the coolest! And now with its X mega evolution it gets even cooler! And that's why charizard is number one on my top ten favourite pokemon list" Bowser said proudly.

"Dude mewtwo would kick charizards butt any day" Peach said.

"well maybe but mewtwos a legendary"

"Personally I like zoroark, its cool" Larry said braiding Ludwigs hair.

"IMO, charizard didnt even deserve its x mega evolution" Peach continued, "not that its any good anyways"

"well neither is your face but im not complaining." Bowser said

"oh fuck" Ludwig said.

"Well I mean mega charizard Y is clearly superior, it has the drought ability, it can even learn solar beam! What does mega charizard x have, tough claws? Sure but dont come complaining when youre paralyzed from static. or worse, effect spore" Peach said.

"Bah, blow it out your ass, kid. You wouldn't talk that bold shit to my face - or rather up at my face, so your online false sense of bravado bollocks is as laughable as it would be in person. I stand 6'4'' 238 lbs. pure fit muscle with a lifelong background in martial arts, son, and so the only thing that WOULD happen, mangina, is you being told to walk away. If you were to attack in some ego-bruised rage, well, spending the next several months in the ICU would be your next stop. I can guarantee you that, little white knight." Bowser said. "Oh, and you're also off about th"

"Bowser theres a space ship labeled WASA approaching us" Roy interupted suddenly in the room.

Princess Peach laughed mockinlgy, "Ha! I told you you wouldnt get away with this! It might have taken like 26 years but someone has come to save me!" she said i guess koopas and mushroom princesses age much slower than humans? ? or like something "The good side always wins!"

"Roy which is better mega charizard X or mega charizard Y" Bowser asked

"Neither charizard gets its ass kicked by my sylveon literally all the time tbh" Roy answered.

"roy leave"

"ok but what about th"

_**"leave"**_

_'_

"What did he say" Iggy asked, patiently waiting for orders on what the fuck to do

"he asked me which mega charizard is best and told me to leave" Roy answered.

"mega charizard y"

"i guess but honestly charizard is just bad in general"

"ha yeah" Suddenly the Space Phone rang. "Fuck shit get it shi"

"But what do I tell them?"

"Uhh I dont know just make something up hm m"

Roy picked up the Space Phone "helo? ?"

"ell them whaoH ufck uh HELLO Were uh here to check your... toilets.." Luigi, on the other end, said from his new friends space rocket space phone.

"Oh uhm ok a andd? ?" Roy replied as well as he could.

"And uhm m... we would like you to open the gates so we can.. uh check your toilets."

"ok well uh maybe we wwill and uh maybe we wo nt ? come back later do not Disturbv by e" Roy said and ended the call. "Ok!"

"yee" iggy cherished

**"AND ANOTHER THING"** Bowser bursted in slamming the dungeon door behind him.

The Space Phone rang again. "oh fuck can you take that?" Roy asked his sibling

"uuh h actua"

**"Charizard is by far the best pokemon to ever have existed, unlike the newer gen pokemon, charizard was at least original!"**

"mmhm.. ." Iggy said and forced themself to pick up the Space Phone, "héllllllllllllmmnoo o? ?."

"Hello? Hello!? Could you kindly open the gates please!?" Luigi said

"Yes! We need you to open your gates so we can clean your pipes!" Wario yelled, stealing the phone from Luigi.

There was no answer, only muffled sobbing and heavy breathing. its ok iggy i know its scary talking on the phone it sucks so much and that was very unnecesary of wario you know exactly what you did wario fuck you honestly

"Original my ass its literally just a dragon sure its not the worst out there but it certainly isnt the best! The only way charizard could ever be even decent is with its y mega evolution and even then itll need some good speed unless someone uses trick room. Also mega charizard x looks like it was taken from a 13 year olds deviantart page." Morton continued his and Bowsers argumentation

"Listen here you sorry excuse of intelligent life mega charizard x is a fricking amazi" Bowser began saying but was interupted by the WASA space ship bursting through the castle walls accompanied by warios loud yelling of wa.

"see much easier now show us them toilets" wario said as the quartet exitet the space ship.

"fuck you you made iggy cry and broke the wall were calling another plumbing company and also suing we'll let your boss know about this you know fucking" Roy said trying to comfort his sibling like yeah wario think a little huh

"Hey whats your opinion on charizard and its mega evolutions!?" Bowser asked our heroes and wario

"its ok i guess" "waats a charichar" "charizard is the best have you seen its x mega evolution!?" Mario, Waluigi and wario respectively answered honestly wario wow

"Thank you chubby person in yellow! Its like we were made for each other" Bowser said, "Like would you rather fly around on an orange dragon or a black and red blue-fire breathing dragon of awesome!?"

"You do know pokemon arent real right" Luigi said, everyone threw rocks at him and Waluigi spat on his arm

"M for Mario!" Mario began.

"L for Luigi!"

"W for wario!"

"Gamma for Waluigi!"

"Together we form MLWGamma, the champions of justice! In the name of the moon we will right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means YOU!"

Bowser laughed, "Tehehe, you think you can defeat me!? HAHAHA!" He stretched forward his hand and pointed at MLWGamma. "Go kids!" he shouted.

Iggy was still upset, maybe more now, and Roy still trying to calm them down, Larry and Ludwig were locked up in the prison dungeon and Morton and Wendy werent there to hear it so nothing happened.

"Bowser can Iggy go home" Roy went ahead and asked for them.

"Of course" Bowser said, "Also could you go get Wendy and Morton please"

"Ok" Roy said and helped Iggy out, then ran to get his other siblings. The waiting time for Bowser and his enemies was very awkward.

"Hey Bowser needs you" Roy said.

"NOT NOW IM MAKING FARMING MEMES" Morton yelled.

Wendy was free though and not held captive by the cruel grip of farming memes and went with Roy.

"Wheres Morton" Bowser asked when the two returned.

"He's busy making farming memes" Roy answered.

"Ah ok" Bowser said and turned back to the MLWGamma. "Ok so things got complicated you might actually defeat me now simply because of number advantage but"

"You could release Ludwig and Larry" Wendy suggested

"No, Wendy. They must repend for their sins. It's better this way."

"Where have you hidden the princess!?" Mario blurted out.

"It's a secret!" Bowser said. And at that moment, Mario jump kicked bowser in the face. "duDE WHAT THE HECK"

"Yeah! Go Mario!" Marios friends cheered him on. Mario blushed.

"should we do something" Roy asked

"Kick them or something!" Bowser replied.

So Roy went up to Mario and kicked his shin so he fell over and cried.

"AHAHA! HAHA HAHAHA!" Bowser laughed and picked up Mario and then his friends. "Bye bye assplants!"

Bowser mustve flung them really far at least like 50 yards ounces foot head and shoulders knees and toes knees and toes i am american

"HAHAHA! GOOD JOB!" Bowser said. "Once again the evil side always wins! HAHAhA"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**How to Fuse Friends &amp; Alienate People**

* * *

"Grr... He's just too strong..." wario said.

"We'll never be able to defeat him..." Luigi added.

Mario stood up, "No! We can't give up! There must be a way!"

Waluigi slapped Mario.

"Sigh... Maybe you're right. But..." Mario said, "But we've come so far... it would be silly to give up now..."

"Face it brother, he's a freaky mutant space pirate king with children as guards. What are we? 4 moustached guys in overalls why do we even wear these who wears overalls anymore especially this tight ones" Luigi said.

"... Maybe. I mean did you see how that pink one kicked me? We're chanceless..." Mario said.

"Wait thats it!" Waluigi suddenly screamed louder than he had calculated, several of his friends flinches and covered their ears.

"what" Mario said

"If we can't beat them, we gotta join them!" Waluigi continued.

"what" Mario said

"If we too can become a freaky mutant space pirate king with children as guards, we must have a chance!"

"what" Mario said

"i dont know im just trying to be useful im sorry" Waluigi said

"Wait thats it! If we can't beat them, we gotta join them! If we too can become a freaky mutant space pirate king with children as guards, we must have a chance!" wario said.

"yes!" Mario cheered.

"*looks into the camera like im on the office*" Waluigi said.

"But how are we going to do that?" Luigi asked.

"dude idk" wario said then dont say anything at all you piece of shit

In that moment, angels sang. Though they sang with their chest not their head and were rather tonedeaf so it sounded more like screaming but its the thought that counts. A man rose from the mists.

"Who..." Mario said, "Who are you...?"

The man looked at Mario and smiled. "I am Tom Fuse"

"O dear Tom Fuse, we beg of thee, we have to save the princess, but alas King Bowser the Space Pirate is too strong for us! We thought of becoming a freaky mutated space pirate king with children as guards too, but however shall we do that!? Whatever shall we do?" Waluigi said.

Tom Fuse stretched forth his hand. "I can teach you." He walked away.

"what"

"Should we like. Should we follow or. uh" Luigi said.

And so the quartet (god i hate that word esp its spelling ugh) followed the strange celebrity into the woods.

"Uhm, are you sure you know where we're going?" Luigi asked. "I'm pretty sure we're lost."

The man simply looked back at Luigi and smiled.

"uh"

They walked for what seemed like an hour in those woods, tangled in vines, wet and moist, wet in general. Until the man stopped.

"WAat WAhy are we stopping" wario said.

But once again, the man did not respond. He stretched out his arm, grabbing the think vines in front of him and pulling them aside. Everyone was amazed.

"Wow..." everyone wowed.

"Welcome to my humble living." Tom Fuse said.

Before the men was paradise. A majestic cottage stood before them, ponds decorating its surroundings. As our heroes and wario went towards the house, dolphins jumped over them from one pool to the other. wario screamed like a little girl

"Would you like something to drink?" the handsome celebrity asked the four.

"I what no we want to save Princess Peach" Luigi said a simple no would have sufficed

"Ah, right you are, of course" Tom Fuse said. "Let me teach you the Art of Fusing."

* * *

"Let me teach you the Art of Fusing." Tom Fuse said as if there had been a commercial break.

Everybody gasped. "what"

"Oh, it appears you've never heard of the Art of Fusing previously? Then I shall explain." Tom Fuse said. "Once upon a time, the world was at peace. Everyone was happy and healthy, and there were no wars. Then one day, the evil King Bowser and his koopalings except for Lemmy the Space Pirates attacked. Me and my siblings, Terry Fuse, Julee Fuse and Rebecca Fuse, tried to defeat the evil that had overthrown our world. But divided we are weak. And so, we invented a secret technique called Fusing. My siblings and I fused and sealed away the evil space pirates, but alaas it seems their evil has once again broken free..."

Everybody gasped. "what"

"My friends. Just as I and my siblings were the chosen ones, you 4 have been chosen to eliminate and seal away the evil ones. You must fuse, so that you can save us once and for all." Tom Fuse explained shortly.

"How do you eliminate and seal away something if you eliminate what youre gonna seal away theres nothing to seal away what" Waluigi said

"We literally dont care honestly we just want to know how to fuse" Mario said

"Just so you know we arent like related they are but" wario said

"Honestly who even is Lemmy" Luigi asked

Mario slapped Luigi.

"Dancing like the swans

But swans cant dance they'll simply

Dance into each other" Tom Fuse said with a trusting smile on his handsome face, before disappearing into the mists again.

"W-Wait!" Mario said as he stretched out his arm, but in a blink, the paradise and the celebrity were all gone. "he didnt even teach us anything what the fuck"

"Dancing like the swans, but swans cant dance theyll simply, dance ito each other..." Luigi said to himself.

"Yes Luigi that is exactly what the man just said." wario said.

"No don't you see? I think it's a clue..."

"hmm..." everyone hmmed.

"WE GOTS TA DANCE INTO EACH OTHER LIKE HONESTLY" Waluigi said.

"Yes!" Luigi said. He stretched forth his hand to wario. "May I?"

"no" wario said. But Luigi doesn't care, he makes a seductive dance towards wario regardless. wario is very embarrased and uncomfortable go Luigi

Eventually, the war criminal gives in and he too dances. The sight of the two dancing around each other in such a manner was graceful, with the exception of wario. And for the finale, the two jumped into each other. They began to glow white as their silhouettes turned into a clumpy mess, before finally forming into a huge, like 7.5 feet i dont know im not american i lied to fit in mess, and the white disappeared, revealing a more physical mess than before. They wore indigo overalls and a lime green shirt with those sleeves that go like just a little past your elbows that are just the fucking worst.

"Wa." they said.

"Luigi! wario! You've fused!" Mario said.

"Luirio!" Waluigi said, "it couldve been like warigi but that sounds too much like mine and im not haveing none of that so"

Everyone screamed with glee, "Luirio, Luirio, Luirio!"

,

"Fufufu... so they're gonna fuse, to try and lock me in again eh?" Bowser said, spying on the now trio from afar. "Not if I can help it!"


	6. chapter 6

**hey sorry its been a while btw my computer broke down then we got it fixed then a week later it died again but now i have a new computer and can get back to updating ur welcoem yee**

* * *

**chapchap 6**

Luigi, defused from his prison with wario, looked over to see his brother drawing something. "What are you doing?" he asked him.

"Well I figured since weve got fusions now we should make gemsonas!" Mario replied.

"But Mario, youre already beautiful as a diamond..." Wario said.

Mario got flustered, "O-oh, Wario..."

But the 2 and a half men's peace was interupted by the loud landing of Bowser, jumping off his space scooter, so loudly luigi screamed and wario laughed at him. He laughed.

"Bowser what are you doing here! Back off!" luigi shouted.

"We're stronger now, space pirate! And without your tough children protecting you, you're no match for us!" Mario said. "Waluigi! Quick, Fuse with me!"

"lol no" Bowser said. He grabbed Waluigi.

"WAA!" Waluigi screamed in fear as he struggled for freedom. Everyone gasped as Bowser laughed.

"Put him down you salvage!" Mario yelled. "savage. i meant savage"

But Bowser ignored him and simply got on his space scooter again. "If you ever wish to see your friend again you must surrender your fusing powers to me! Hahahahaha" he said and took off again, still laughing. "You have untill tomrroW!"

"D*rn it..." Mario shook his fist.

"WA! Waat will we do now!?" wairio said.

Mario was quiet. "...The only thing we can do..."

_'_

"so then i like kicked him" Roy said.

"! DUDE!" Morton said in amazement.

"Woah seriously!? What happened next!?" Larry added.

"he uh fell and cried"

"SHIT BOY!" Morton said.

"I stood" Wendy said

"nice!" Larry said

Waluigi ughed, "Wa! So WAt!? It WAs just luck anyWAys!" he said. "My friends will save me and then well see whos shin gets kicked!?"

"haha k"

"Oh, what were they like?" Princess Peach asked eagerly. "I bet they're the nicest most ripped men in the universe, just like a more ripped and anime version of Danny Sexbang, as their hair flow in the brease..."

Waluigi confirmed.

Peach swooned at the thought. She went unconcious. She almost hit her head on a stool but only almost so its ok though she did hit the floor pretty hard like it was a down right KLCUIK look i dont know what sound a head makes when it hits rock im sory..

"SHit is she bleeding" Ludwig asked "shit shes bleeding fuck larry give me the band aids"

"NO! NOO! NO NO! NO!"

"omg Larry you uSELESS PIECE OF Shit Waluigi give me the band aids"

"Sorry Ludwig, I can't, I need them, I scraped my knee falling for you"

Ludwig giggled and blushed like some anime school girl. "F for real though shes gonna bleed to death if you dont hand me them aha ha "

Waluigi slid over the bandaids to Ludwig, who flattered accepted them

"What the fuck" Iggy said

"Dude she hurt the back of her head you cant put a band aid on her fucking hair" Wendy said

"You dont tell me what to do" Ludwig said and put a band aid on Peachs fucking hair Ludwig you piece of tras

_'_

That morning, Peach woke up from her unconciousness. She yawned as she opened her eyes.

"Ow... What happened...?" She sat up. "My head hurts.. is that a fucking band aid. who the FUCK put a BAND AID on my FUCKING HAIR WHAT THE FUCK"

The mushroom princess struggled as she tried to painlessly get the bandaid off her head.

"I'm SO DONE now HOLY SHIT this was the last fucking straw im done im out" Princess Peach said to herself.

(later)

Waluigi woke up 3 AM by the sound of welding. "What the hell?" he said, squinting his eyes

"I'm done Ualuigi or something I'm fucking out" Peach said as she welded the bars of the prison cell.

"Where the hell did you get a welding machi"

"You wouldnt believe the kind of stuff toads send me"

The metal bars made a loud sound as they fell to the ground.

"C'mon Waluigi, we have to go!" Peach said

"WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK!? That's fucking VANDALISM thats against the LAW!" Ludwig yelled, having been awoken by the crime "Like thanks for freeing me but shit man respect the law!"

But the Princess and Peach were already far too ahead to recieve an assbeating. He began running a few feet, before he remembered Larry still existed. "C'mon Larry were free! And we gotta catch some lawbreaking asssssss" he called.

"I am afraid I cannot go" his brother replied. "I've been here for so long I'm unsure if I can face the outside world anymore. I was put here for a reason, to attone for my crimes. So who am I to tell others what's right and wrong?"

"listen assha- whatever" Ludwig said as he left his brother alone in the dark.

_'_

"There they are!" Waluigi said as they got out of the prison dungeon, "wario! Mario! Green Mario!" he called for his friends

"Waluigi!" wario shouted to his comrade. Waluigi ran up and embraced his friends. The MALWGamma was finally reunited.

"Look, it's the princess!" Luigi pointed its rude to point

But just as Princess Peach was about to greet the squad Bowsers cold gripå grabbed her once again. "Hahahaha! Thought it would be that easy ballerina boobers!?" he laughed maniacly.

"Quick! Now that we're all here we have to fuse!" Mario said and stretched forth his hand to Waluigi, "Dance with me, Waluigi!"

"Not So Fast!"

Ludwig stepped out from the shadows like the weeb he is and grabbed the red plumber, taking him his hostage. "Leave now or shit idk ill step on his toe or something"

"You monster!" Luigi screamed.

estop ran towards the lizard, clenches fisted and screaming in increasing volume. "Oraoraoraoraoraoraoraoraora ZA WARIO!"

But just as wario was about to land the punch Waluigi jumped in front of him, shouting "WAAAAAAH-IT"

"That's not even correct pronunciation you ass" Iggy said

"I'm not native english ok can you speak two languages fluently no didnt think so Waluigi 1 igloo 0"

"Waluigi, are you mad! You're gonna let Bowser win!" wario says

Waluigi is faced with a horrible dilemma.

But before he gets a chance to decide Luigi has had enough and takes matters into his own hands

"Fine, if you're taking my brother hostage then im taking your brother hostage too!" Luigi says and grabs Morton

"i dont? know you? please dont touch me " morton says

"Hey let go of him!" Roy says and grabs Waluigi as his own hostage.

"No!" Ludwig and wario yell in unison followed by a solo "fuckign" from Ludwig. "Let go of him!" wario demands angrily.

"Only if he lets go of Morton!"

"Only if he lets go of Mario!"

"i, uh mm..." Ludwig responds

wario grrs angrily and grabs Ludwig. "Let go of him, uh Turtle that kicked Mario!"

"wario, no!" Waluigi says, struggling to get out of roys viceous grip. "Let go of him or I'm taking the princess!"

"Whoa whoa wait a sec"

"TOuch a hair on her scalp and im firing Ludwig!" Bowser says

"? ? ?" ludwig says

"No we need his pay check to pay rents and stuff you fire him i uh fire you!" Morton says

"IM TAKING LARRY HOSTAGE! jesus chri" Iggy yells and walks down to the prison dungeon, "LARRYS M Y HOSTAGE RIGHT NOW BTW JUST SO YOU KNOW!" they yell from the dungeon Larry is scared

"i miss Lemmy" Wendy says

"Give me Mario!" Luigi demands

"depends am i fired or not"

"not if your boyfriend lets go of peach" Bowser says "hes not my boyfriend... gosh.." ludwig whispers blushing waluigi friendzoned again

"Let go of Ludwig wario!" Waluigi demands

"Let go of Waluigi Turtle that kicked Mario!" wario demands

"let go of your earthly tethers" iggy says though no one could hear them except larry began crying

"Let go of Morton!" Roy demands

"Let go of Mario!" Luigi demands

"well like am i fired or not?" Ludwig says

"not if your boyfriend lets go of peach" Bowser sa

"Shitting christ let go of Mario Ludwig fuck" Wendy says

"OH IM SORRY WENDY DO YOU PAY THE BILLS NO YOU DONT GO FUCK YOURSELF"

"dude chill"

Silence...

"hey uh i think i . accidentally made larry cry uh. i didnt mean to i just i uh i dont know how to what to do m.." Iggy broke the silence standing at the door to the prison dungeon "im sorry"

"You know what yeah everyone let go of ur hostages and go down and make Larry stop crying." Wendy says and no one really dares to defy so. Now theres just like 11 people mostly adults in the prison dungeon trying to make a turtle child stop crying. They're there for like 5 minutes before Larry stops crying, Iggy doesnt get scolded since they didnt mean to make him sad but they still have to apologize, which they do and alls well ends well.

"So how do we do about the princess?" Bowser gets down to Bussiness

"I was thinking we take her home to her kingdom?" Mario says.

"ok yeah no Where is the princess anyways"

He was right, the princess was gone! No where to be found! Oh cracker shit!

"Barn! She must've escaped while we were helping Larry!" Bowser said.

"Yes!" MLWGamma cheered and high fived eachother

"We gotta find her!" Iggy said

"Not if we find her first asscracks!" Luigi says, and theyre off.

As his siblings, boss and enemies search for the peachy princess, Larry stayed in his cell to pay off for his crimes.

"Man i want brownies rn"

Just then, footsteps were heard on the stone floor. Out from under the staircase Princess Peach ran and up the stairs.

"Whoa hey people are looking for y-" Larry began but was interrupted by the slamming of the dungeon door as Peach exited the dungeon.

He looked down at the cold floors of his prison. He couldn't leave his cell, but he had to do something. And so, he set foot outside his cell for the first time in years.

"tIME TO M AKE MOMMA PROUDD! !? !"


	7. Chapter 7! Wow!

Chapter 7

I swear my content would be like at least 50% better if didn't reformat my shit like who do you think you are my mom screw of

* * *

Larry walked through the halls of Bowser's castle, calling for the princess and rattling a can of cat food. "Peach! Kss kss kss! Come here!" he called for her.

But the princess didn't come. She was no where to be found! Oh No! Larry kept searching because hes a stubborn asschild. He searched everywhere he could think of searching as he went further up the castle.

Meanwhile

Peach ran around the house for several minutes, which really isnt very smart tbh since shes wearing heels uh

"Haha! I tricked them! Nice Job, Rob Bob!" The princess said to herself. Though eventually she had to stop running, because heels are just. Just awful. "Dude where am i even" She was right shes fucking lost. "Im right im fucking lost. I need to find a way out..." Peach stepped towards the window and sighted out, looking at the fools searching for her. "Ahaha! Silly billies! Why would I be ou wait"

"Peach! Heeere!" Peach heard someone, Larry obviously because he didn't learn to speak english until pretty late and thats ok, call from the floor below. Peach began to panic, she had to hide, but the temptation of the rattling food tin was so strong!

_'_

"Seen anything yet bro?" Luigi asked his bro.

"I've seen some stuff man.."

"Mario this is serious business we need to get PROFESIONAL! Dude!"

"Hey look over here!" wario yelled over to his friends. The heroes in overalls ran over to their companion

Before them layed an egg.

"What" Waluigi asked confused

"Exactly like why the hell is an egg just laying out in the wild? I mean its a chicken egg, its even cold what the fuck what the Fuck" wario responded.

"wARI I was gonna yell at you but like why is there a chicken egg here." Luigi said.

"You think we could still use it or is it too dirty already?" Waluigi asked.

"Waluigi!" wario said scolding him along with the rest of his comrades. Waluigi looked away in shame.

From a bush a few meters away Ludwig watched them.

"Oh he's just too good. Why must we be forbidden, my prince?" he said.

"Are you talking about that purple guy again? You've been with him for like a day." Iggy said, searching and being productive unlike SOMEONE

"You don't understand Iggy. He's not like the others... This one is special. He knows and understands that not using that egg would be a complete waste of resources and life!"

"thats gay"

"you're gay"

"Face it Ludwig, its never gonna happen. Hes probably not interested anyway" Roy said.

"do'NT EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT YOu you AWFFUL sSOCK stAI?N!" Ludwig responded.

"What does that even mean" Iggy asked

"IDK LIKE WHEN YOU STEP IN SODA OR SOMETHING WITH SOCKS ON AND YOUR FOOT JUST BECOMES ALL WET AND GROSS AND IT STICKS TO THE FLOOR EVERYTIME YOU WALK THAT THATS YOU"

"ouch dude.." Roy said

"MY OWN FAMILY MIGHT NOT BELIEVE IN OUR LOVE, BUT I KNOW WALUIGI DOES AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS, BECAUSE LOVE CONQUERS ALL! YOULL SEE! YOULL ALL SEE!" Ludwig yelled and angrily walked away.

"gay!" Iggy shouted.

"YOURE GAY!"

_'_

"I wonder if theres a castle with only one floor. Would that be a castle at all? What IS the definition of a castle? ?" Larry asked himself.

He walked around the last floor for a good 15 minutes, Bowser's castle is fuckin huge broe, before finally finding Princess Peach in a bar room. She'd gotten lost and tired and had decided to rest.

"shbmlfwh at dyaou wwAnt y darn hh hippei" she said

"Im.. not a hippie but uh could you. come back into the dungeon please"

"Suck. My. ASS."

"Please this could be my only chance to redeem myself for my si"

"AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Both of them were quiet.

"So yuo play pokemon kid?" Peach continued the conversation

"Shit that reminds me I haven't played animal crossing in YEARS oh my god isabelles gonna be fucking pissed.." Larry said, "C'mon hurry you gotta be down before Bowser returns!"

"Talk to bofa"

"whos bof"

"boFA DEEZ NUTS"

Larry sighed, ashamed of having been memed at so brutally. He grabbed his thumb with his index and long finger and hid the other thumb behind its respective hand, then he put them next to each other and seperated them that was so weird for me to describe its really more of a visual trick uhm

"Ohh... mmy gOD!" Peach said and passed out. Then Larry dragged her all the way back to the prison dungeon. She was very heavy though because larry is fucking short so sometimes he dropped her or fell over and sometimes he accidentally scratched her and to make a long story short it was just a whole bunch of pain.

_'_

"Psst" Waluigi heard from the bushes bushing, startling him slightly, he accidentally hit wario in the face as an impulse wario died no jk. He turned to see what made the sound, because thats just what you do thats how humans work is waluigi human wait hold o

"Ludwig!" Waluigi yelled. Everyone was startled.

"wHT HTe FUck dudE?!" Ludwig whispered, like a normal human being, koopa, what

"who? the hell is ludwig?" wario turned and asked.

"Isnt that the guy Waluigi were in love with earlier?" Luigi said.

"idk I? Feel like i would remember that?"

"Wasn't that that other kid like egg or something" Mario said.

"No wasnt that the kid wario made cry?" Luigi said

"Oh yeah"

Ludwig stepped out of the bushes and Mario screamed high pitched.

"FUCK THAT WAS UNEcesarry Look I don't mean any harm" Ludwig said "I want to join you"

"More like you want to join the Gay Club... nailde it" wario replied

"yeah thats what i said"

"OOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiit wait" Mario cried

"And why should we trust you!?" Luigi said.

"Because. the. more the , mm errier?" Ludwig said

"Please Luigi! Let him join our Gay Club!" Waluigi pleaded.

The men thought. "Hmm... Alright Ludwi g?m right ludwig You can stay." wario said, "But if you do one thing wrong we will you must exile!"

"Thank you mario"Ludwig said

"wario*" wario said

"ah ok" because warios a weird ass name (because warios a fucking ass)


	8. Chapter l8 haha

Princess Peach woke up in a cell. She was covered in colourful childrens band aids with like dinosaurs and stuff on them, they were sloppily put on, like absoloutely covered she had like 7 on her face and at least 50 on her limbs some were even on top of other bandaids what the hell

"God dAMNIT WHO PUT THESE ON DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS WILL HURT TO PULL OFF NOW OH MY FUCKING GOD" Peach said.

"sHUT UP IM ON A FUCKIGN BOSS HOly shit..." somebody said. It was larry but like i said it was p obvious

"Isn't that animal crossing"

"yeah im fighting capitalism"

"oh sorry" The princess said. "You know i didnt know reptiles needed band aids"

"once I put a band aid on my arm cause i was a dumb kid and when i pulled it off some of my scales came off so i put on another so the wound wouldnt get infected but then it just pulled off more it was fucking terrifying"

"ok" the Peach said. "How did iceland happen? Like what did some random dude just decide "im gonna go to that volcano right in the middle of the ocean and have hot sex (badUMTSS)!" like didnt it ever erupt, burrying everyone under it? someday that has to happen and now a fuck ton of people will die and all because yall just had to frackle on a fucking volcano smfh"

"THANK Y" Larry began but was interrupted by the slamming of the dungeon doors.

"(screaming goat)"

"I cant believe we still havent found her!" Iggy said loudly.

"I DID THOUGH! LOOK! PLEASE LOVE M" Larry yelled very happy and excited shhhh h hh...

"You escaped your prison!?" Bowser said

Larry died inside"i." Larry said

Bowser smirked "good job Larry. You passed the test." he said "I feel you've served your time and learned your lesson. You're free to go Larry" editaltr

Larry was revived inside "!" Larry said and ran over to hug his siblings who he had had little to no physical contact with at all for 27 years.

"can we go home" Roy said.

"Sure you've done good today" Bowser said and the koopalings except for Lemmy and Ludwig walked out of the castle.

"C'mon Ludwig, we're leaving! I'M FREE" Larry yelled over to his brother.

"Shit I gotta go" Ludwig said, "Remember what I said, now go, and hurry, I'll distract them" and so Ludwig took his siblings to McDonalds and they had a great time.

_'_

"Found anything?" wario asked.

"No" Mario replied "What about you Luigi"

Luigi was playing with some tamagotchi he found on a table in the other room. "what"

Mario sighed. "Man these guys are broke, even if we found anything I'd kinda feel bad for taking it" he said.

"Maybe we should just leave" Waluigi said bummed out

"Yeah mayb" Mario said as he walked away, just as he fell over something. "AAAAaaAAaAAAaAaAAA!" he screamed and everybody hurts (sometimes) "What the jell!? (translator's note: jell is hell in spanish)"

Mario had tripped on a car engine. What the fuck.

"Why is there a car engine on the floor?" wario asked

"id rather want to know if it still works" Waluigi said "i mean engines arent exactly cheap it would be quite the steal"

"Waluigi were not keeping that in our hou we dont have a house" wario said. It was first then the realisation dawned on them that they have no shelter, aside from the WASA ship that barely works anymore and little to no food.

"ffuck." Mario said.

"I told you to go get us food!" Luigi said, looking up from the tamagotchi.

"Ah food is for nerds anyway" wario said "lets raid their fridge"

"I don't think that's very fai" Waluigi said but was interrupted by having a slab of meat thrown at his face

"Good idea, wario! C'mon Luigi, we're leaving" Mario said as they left.

_'_

Eventually the koopalings except for Lemmy had to come home from McDonalds even if they stayed there for like 2 hours.

"Man I have not been here in years! This is super cool!" Larry said and just threw himself on the fucking floor

"tbh Im really surprised of how well kept it is I was expecting to find out you got kicked out and ive been paying for some german family of three for years" Ludwig said.

Roy walked into the bedroom to check on his tamagotchi. He gasped at the horror before him. "FUCKO!" he cried.

Meanwhile

"Did you move my car engine?" Iggy asked "I left it right here and now its gone"

"Are you sure thats where you put it?" Morton said

"yes morton im sure i put my entire car engine here." Iggy responded, "Well shit I was gonna use that!"

"For what!?" Ludwig said

"something probably"

"Exactly"

"WELL DONT COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU NEED A HALF-BROKEN CAR ENGINE"

"IT WAS COMPLETELY BROKEN!"

"YOURE COMPLETELY BROKno im sorry that was, too far im sorry i didn"

"its cool"

"ok sorry"

Roy kicked down the door. "WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS KILLED MY TAMAGOTCHI!?" he yelled.

"Aw Fucko died? Shit dude that sucks" Iggy said

"DONT YOU FUCK WITH ME AZAELA YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT"

"please dont yell at m e.. ."

"sorry BUT THE REST OF YALL WHICH ONE OF YOU KILLED FUCKO!?"

"Why would we have killed your pet toy" Wendy said

"FUCKO WAS NOT A TOY, HE WAS A HERO OF OUR NATION!" Roy replied, "Look SOMEBODY mustve unpaused him because when I came back he was dead!"

"Maybe you just forgot to pause him to begin wi"

"HOW DARE YOU!"

So Roy and 4 of his siblings joined outside to bury his dead tamagotchi. Iggy wasnt there because they dont like to think about death and eventually having to deal with grief and loss etc and funerals make them think about that so yeah. Ludwig dug a small hole in the ground and put down the virtual pet toy as they put flowers on top of it.

"We've gathered here today to bid farewell to Roy's tamagotchi Fucko" Ludwig said, "Fucko was a good man, he was very talanted at jumping jump rope. He died today when somebody unpaused him and he starved to death."

Roy cried on Mortons shoulder "Its not fair!" he cried

Ludwig bent down again to bury the tamagotchi in the remaining dirt. "like you do know you could just. reset it it makes literally no difference"

"iTS NOT tHE SAmE!" Roy replied angrily

"okok shit" Ludwig said putting the dirt on top of the tamagotchi toy. A moment of silence for Fucko...

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Rest in piece

The siblings moved inside and made saft (which was hidden in Ludwigs Secret Saft Spot) to flush down the grief.

"How could this have happened? If none of you did it, then who did!?" Roy wept.

"Maybe someone broke in! They broke in, unpaused Roys tamagotchi and stole mY GOD DAMN CAR ENGINE" Iggy said

And all our food" Morton added having checked the fridge.

"I need to find out who did it.." Roy pulled himself together, "I have to avenge him... Fucko would want that"

"What" Wendy said

But Roy was gone, hungry for the blood of his friend's murderer.

'

Mario slurped his tea and like inhaled thorough his nose. theres probably a word for that but fuck man "This is nice" he said

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Roy kicked in through the wall yelling, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NOT SO NICE AT THE OTHER END IS IT DOUCHEBAGS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he was crying.

"What the actual fuck" wario said.

Roy gasped when he saw Luigi. "YOU! YOU KILLED FUCKO!"

"What the actual fuck" Luigi said.

"He thinks you killed his tamagotchi" Ludwig whispered,

"i KNOW you killed Fucko! I CAN FEEL IT!" Roy corrected. "YOU BROKE INTO OUR APARTMENT AND UNPAUSED MY TAMAGOTCHI!"

Luigi bit his teeth and inhaled. well like youd have put it any better

"Luigi! I told you not to play with other peoples toys, did we buy you that squeekie toy all for nothing!?"

"We're reporting you for breaking in, theft and murder! Have fun in space jail, aortas!" Larry said

"What!? No you dont understWait why theft" Mario said

"You STOLE my car engine! and fizzy lifting drinks" Iggy said

"We didn't steal your car engine? or fizzy lifting drinks" wario said

"it is literally right there!" Iggy said pointing to their car engine beside Waluigi, who acted like it wasnt, screaming internally

"nobody cares about your broken car engine iggy" Wendy said.

Iggy tried to respond but it just came out as a verbal mess so they whined loudly then sat down angrily on the floor.

Luigi sighed "Look there's a yard sale not too far from here I think I saw another tamagotchi there I'll buy it for you ok?" Luigi said.

"... it isnt the same and i dont forgive you but ok" Roy replied

And so everybody walked to the yard sale not too far from there. It really wasn't far it took like 20 minutes to walk there, everyone talked, finally exchanged names, so it almost seemed like 10 or 15 minutes. Koopas are a different species than humans do they have time perceptio

The yard sale was at a nice small house with lots of items for sale clustered all over the place and a big white sign that said "Yard Sale"

"Paul Blart's Yard Sard" Iggy said and all of the koopalings laughed (including Lemmy) because they're all dirty ass memers.

"Oh, hello boys and girl, are you looking for something?" an old koopa lady said, Iggy was thoroughly offended

"Yes uh we're looking for a tamagotchi, I accidentally killed Roys current one and now i have to buy a new one" Luigi said

"it isnt the same and i dont forgive him but ok" Roy said

"Oh I think I have one here somewhere" the old lady said and took out a tamagotchi from her coat. The tamagotchi was black as the void, its red tip almost looked like blood... "There you are!"

"sweet finally a tamagotchi as dark as my soul" roy said

"Here you go, but be careful! They say its previous owner died under mysterious surcumstances..."

"arent you its previous owner" Larry asked

"uh wait shi i mean Perhaps I am.m..? Those are of course only silly ghoststories..." the old lady said, "ahaha"

"? ? ?"

So Luigi bought the tamagotchi for Roy and they began walking home.

"Was this a good idea" Roy said.

"Hey you wanted a tamagotchi whats wrong with this one" Luigi responded

"idk something about it just rubs me the wrong way"

"Yeah like it might be the weird description and looks and ominous dark aura comeing from it but it seems really spooky if you ask me" Larry said

"Oh please, the real horror here is the 50 bucks i payed for it (trumpet sound)" Luigi said.

"So, why did we come with you for this?" Morton asked

"Because you don't leave your brother with a complete stranger thats just not something you do" Roy answered

"yeah just think of what he could have done to poor luigi hadnt you come with him" Mario said

"eat shit mario" luigi said


End file.
